I'm going to be honest here, okay? I know we're all friends, and we're here to support each other–being of the same overwhelmed working mom tribe–so no judgement. I just realized (and I mean JUST realized) that it's not all about me.
Let's take a step back and I'll explain. Every once in a while, my mother in law randomly makes us dinner and has her husband drop off dinner on a school night. That's nice, right? But me... I took offense.
I made assumptions as to what this act of random kindness REALLY meant.Do you think I can't feed my family? You think I don't have the where-with-all to plan an actual meal? Like I am a working mom so clearly I can't handle making dinner from scratch? Crazy, I know. But it honestly has taken me some time to realize that people being nice to us WASN'T ABOUT ME.
In reality, my MIL just loves to cook big meals from time to time, and she no longer has a big family at home clamoring for food. So, it's about HER wanting to cook and fill the house with warm, delicious scents that remind her of feeding her loving brood. And it's about giving my father in law something to do. He loves to be helpful, and HE is up for any errand in which he can listen to local talk radio and smoke his pipe. It's about my husband feeling a connection to his parents, and sharing HIS favorite foods with his young sons. And it's about my little boys having a yummy meal and knowing that THEY are loved by their grandparents.
What IS about me? My silly aversion to help. It's clearly my issue that I find accepting help (of any kind, sadly) as some kind of vulnerability. Yes, I'm a strong woman (hear me roar), but I'm also just one human trying to do all the things. But now I know better. And I want YOU to know better too.
Accepting help is not a weakness, or admission of defeat, or any other implied vulnerability. It's smart, gracious, and actually empowering. And it's a heck of a lot easier than trying to handle everything ourselves.
So join me! Exhale. Drop the unrealistic expectation that you can do it all – or that you should. Accept help from your people. Thankfully, Hello My Village is here to support you, celebrate you and help you make it all work.
And to my wonderful MIL, thank you for the pounded chicken. We love it, and we love you. xoxo